The Jam Tram


Eye do

 I’m having a reaction to the very high TSH count in my body. TSH is Thyroid Simulating Hormone. Our brain produces TSH in the Pituitary Gland to stimulate our Thyroid to work. It is similar to gas for a car, and the Thyroid Gland would be the car. Since I had Follicular Thyroid cancer back in 03, I had my Thyroid removed and have since taken a supplement called Synthroid (levothyroxin) to replace what my Thyroid would be producing (T4). 

I ran out of my Synthroid medication and was slow to get a refill, which is probably the only medication I don’t rush to get filled. Heaven forbid I miss a single day of pain meds! Anyways, it’s been almost a month or so of no Synthroid, and thus, I’m having ‘episodes’ where my eyes start boggling, I get very dizzy, stick to my stomach, and can’t see clearly. So, I went to the ER because I had completely forgot about the lack of medication. After some simple lab tests, they found I’m having fluid behind my ears (most likely allergies) and my TSH is extremely high… I believe that the P.A. said it was 85. A TSH that is above 5 is high, so this number is pretty up there. 

Problem will be solved by taking my Synthroid, getting Claritin and resolving the UTI she also found. Yay for efficient healthcare workers!

Easy Money

$100+ can stay in your pocket… All you have to do is take your first two fingers, place them on your neck just to the side of your esophagus, and count your heartbeat for 15 seconds. After doing so multiply that 15 x 4 (if you are good at math multiply it by two and then two again). That is your pulse.

I just saved you that money instead of buying a FitBit. Are we really that lazy??!??!

You’re welcome!

The Straw-Like Camel

 I no longer use Facebook. No, I’m not from outer space, either. The straw that broke this camels back was a post from a friend about her eyebrows (and I use the term friend very loosely). She posted that having uneven eyebrows made her life “way too difficult and embarrassing”. As a person who has a paralyzed right arm from being the victim of a hit-and-run motorcycle accident, well, I can think of many more things that are way too difficult and embarrassing.

Having not been born with this disability, I believe, it makes it all the more difficult for me to do day-to-day tasks and then on top of that to try to exceed that and be better than I was is even more daunting. Going from a perfect body (in my opinion) to this body has been an extraordinary challenge. I’ve had to learn to write with my left hand, I’ve had to MacGyver many things in my house so that I’m able to do it with only one arm and hand. I still need my mother to help me with things such as shaving my armpits, putting on button up shirts, buttoning my pants, cooking my food, cutting up my food since I’m not able to use a knife, tying my shoes and or pants, and many other things.To me, that is far more embarrassing then eyebrows. I have to deal with a lot of people thinking that there injury is the end of their world. And that’s OK. Because to them it probably is. I’m totally understanding that that is in fact the case most of the time. However, there are many people who go over the top, and it irritates the crap out of me. So that is why I no longer use Facebook. But in this glorious time of no Facebook, I have been blessed with so many other things… Like, spending way more time with my dog, noticing more things outside and inside, spending more time talking on the phone, instead of staring at it, going outside more, and the list goes on and on! So I guess… Thank you eyebrow girl, because you changed my life for the better!

After my successful two-week detox, I have regained my regular life without having to post everything every hour so that people, who don’t care, and don’t read my Facebook, can see my every move. Even some of my internet-based-paranoia has diminished!

So, again, I say THANK YOU!


The Gift of Life 

It’s amazing what we humans can create. Among such creations, life is by far the most amazing. I saw my brothers 4th child on her first day of life yesterday. Such a thing of beauty to marvel over.

I have always wanted a child for myself, and tried to get pregnant for two years. Now you say, “what!? you’re a lesbian, right?” I call myself a lesbian simply for ease of conversation. I’ll make a post specifically addressing my sexuality, and so for now, you can think whatever you’d like.

Back to the topic…

I’m unable to have a child by birth. In 2003 I was diagnosed with a Follicular Neoplasm in my Thyroid. Follicular cancer is a rare type of cancer, it’s not the same as what most Thyroid cancer is diagnosed as. This type of growth is aggressive and so it led to many Radiation therapy treatments over the last 12 years in addition to the 4 surgeries. The therapy treatments did damage to my central nervous system and to my bladder. The wreckage to my eggs has been the most difficult to deal with. Radiation therapy, basically, fries them eggs up. So, try as I may, a baby won’t be on the way.

This year I turned 35, and I think that I am going to try for a baby after my arm is healed back up. After all, there are many means to this end!

Come On Baby 

Light my fire!

The great fire of 2015 in my bathroom, due to poor candle manufacturing and lack of attendance, left me without my cosmetology utensils. How does one burn steel scissors, you ask? Well, one houses all of their scissors and combs in a wooden box next to a candle with which has a wick that is not properly centered. Buying candles at the $1 store obviously has its flaws. 


Hair stylist shears (scissors) can be sized to fit the owners fingers by using small plastic rings that are inserted into the finger holes. These inserts allow for a snug fit and are, you guessed it, flammable. The combs that a cosmetologist will use for parting, combing, teasing, highlighting and more, have a thin metal wire that runs through the comb and instead of a handle the thin metal wire runs the length. Again, flammable. So what was a wooden box with combs and shears ended up being charred wires and burnt shears.

Since I’m limited to use of only my left hand, the event isn’t ruining my career, as it was previously taken from me. I won’t go into that in this post. However, I have been practicing left handed clipper cuts. I have done four successful mens cuts and my own personal hair. There are Paul Mitchell clipper cut styles (even in long hair!) and Wahl also has clipper cutting techniques. 

It IS possible to cut hair with one hand!

Aw comes before kward

In the early months of my sobriety, this time, I felt so socially awkward that I rarely wanted to be around people. None the less, I still forced myself to attend meetings at least once per day. Speaking to people was uncomfortable, it was like having termites eating my nervous system. My palms, armpits, upper lip, well I suppose everything, would sweat and tremble. Words never seemed to appropriately reach my vocal chords. It was as if I didn’t even know how to make a conversation!

My whole life I have been a chatty Cathy… I’ve been in bands, playing shows, having a very fruitful sex life. I had more friends than ten people. My Facebook page has over 1,500 friends for crying out loud. When I was out and about, no matter where I went someone, at least one person, knew me.

But after my very reclusive relapse, my social kingdom had collapsed. It took me quite a few months to come to the conclusion that it’s not that I’m weird and unable to communicate with the masses… I realized that people aren’t used to a person like me. People want to be around me, and they are just as nervous speaking with the likes of me, and thus, if I made them feel comfortable rather than worrying about my comfortability the awkward moments dissipate.

So here’s to standing tall and loving my bad ass, rockstar, weird self!

Red like the Cross

I can talk until in blue in the face about how much pain I’m feeling in my arm… But along with the pain I feel is an equally visual tell. My tolerance of such drastic pain is made possible by my believing in The Spirit. I know, without a glimpse of doubt, that The Great Unseen Healing Forces are taking care of me, and leading me back to a ‘whole’ body. It is this knowledge that gets me through each torturous day. The Spirit is with me, day in and out, seeing me through each obstacle. My hand may turn red, burn, feel crushed, and hurt, but it is because The Spirit is healing my injured skin and bones. Science and Soul work in conjunction with one another to get me back to a working body.

I will be whole again.